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FIC: My Fair Liar - Part 5 - Hotitudinosity
fiction by jalabert
FIC: My Fair Liar - Part 5
Title: My Fair Liar
Author: Jalabert
Email: jalabert@hotitudinosity.com
Website: www.hotitudinosity.com
Rating: PG-13, for language
Pairings: Ford/McKay
Category: First time
Summary: Rodney McKay learns the meaning of "Go with The Flow" when he hatches a scheme to transform a diamond in the rough.
Written for the reel_sga challenge.

"Is not healthy; he eats little, sleeps less and drinks too much. He does not exercise. He does not even eat M&Ms! You know that is trouble," Radek said earnestly.

"I know," Liz replied. "I'm worried about him, too. Frankly, I'm not sure what to do about it."

"We must do something soon. Is not healthy."

"Yes, we must do something. Thanks for letting me know, Radek."

"Thank you for listening. Rodney is very important to you, even if he prefers boys."

"Yes, he is," Liz said with a smile. "Bye, Radek." She hung up and went over to Rodney's office. Rodney was staring at his computer monitor, where a screensaver was making hypnotic patterns over and over. "Rodney."

"What, Liz?"

"Why don't you go home? There's nothing going on here that we can't handle."


"Or better yet? Why not take another vacation? You've got some free time now, between major projects--."

"Okay," Rodney said, tearing his eyes away from the screen. He mechanically rose and packed his PDA and a couple of folders into his briefcase. "Bye, Liz." He walked out without another word.

He went home and changed, then sequestered himself in the media room. Radek had removed all of Aiden's recordings earlier, after catching Rodney crying to one of his videos. Rodney set the television to CNN News and sat for hours, not really watching.

After three more days, Radek finally took the initiative.

"Get up," he commanded.


"You need a shower and you must put on clean clothes for trip."

"I'm not going on a trip."

"We are going on trip. You go shower and change."

"No," Rodney said petulantly.

"I will call John and Liz and they will annoy you into leaving."

"You're annoying enough on your own, Radek," Rodney said resignedly. "All right, I'll go. Just tell me where."

"Back to St. Croix; I like the beach."

"Well, anything to make you happy, then," Rodney said as he headed to the bedroom.

Their flight was delayed due to heavy air traffic, so the plane sat on the tarmac for the better part of an hour. Rodney asked the flight attendant for a paper and read an article in a gossip column that said The Flow had canceled an upcoming concert appearance. Troubled by the article's speculation that The Flow was hiding after a major blow-up with his manager, Rodney called Carson.

"We haven't seen Aiden in the last few days," Carson said in response to Rodney's question.

"Have you been by his house? Did you contact Gene?" Rodney tried to get off the plane, but it was too late. He reconciled himself to the fact that he had to fly to St. Croix, but he worried about Aiden the whole time the plane was in the air. As soon as he landed, he called Carson again, but there was no news.

"Go rest," Radek said. "I am going to market to get something for dinner."

"All right," Rodney said docilely.

"You will be here when I get back?"

"I'll be in my room," Rodney said. He poured himself a drink and retreated to his room. When Radek came for him several hours later, he awoke feeling refreshed and better than he had in days. When he reached the dining room he saw that the table set for two. He smiled and sat down. But the dinner didn't come. "Radek?"


"Where's dinner?"

"Oh. You wait for guest."

"I'm not expecting any guest, Radek."

"Yes; he called while you were asleep."

"Who?" Rodney asked suspiciously as the doorbell rang.

"Ah; he is here now. You eat." Radek went to the door as Rodney rose unsteadily, his heart in his chest. He was disappointed to see Gene's face when Radek led him into the dining room a minute later.

"Gene," he said evenly.

"Rodney," Gene replied, reaching out to shake his hand. "Thanks for agreeing to see me on such short notice." Rodney flicked a glance at Radek, who ignored it as he began to serve dinner. The pair made meaningless small talk for a few minutes before Gene came to the point of his visit.. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for the pain I've caused both you and Aiden," he began. "I thought--and I still think that it was for the best. No relationship can truly succeed unless both participants are totally honest with each other."

"We don't have a relationship, Gene," Rodney sighed. "Things never got that far." Gene disagreed and they talked about relationships in general before they fell into a discussion about the complex and enigmatic man that was Aiden Ford.

Radek cleared the plates and Rodney sat back with his wine to take stock of everything he'd just learned. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Wait a minute; did you fly all the way down here to apologize to me?"

"No," Gene laughed. "I flew down here to try and talk some sense into Aiden! He's been at Sapphire Beach for the past five days hiding from the world."

"He's here?" Rodney exclaimed. "He's here on the island? I have to see him!"

"I'm not sure he's ready to talk to you."

"I have to try! Look, if you feel as strongly as I do that we're good for one another, you've got to let me see him!"

"I won't let you anywhere near him unless he's ready to talk to you," Gene said firmly. "Please give me your word that you won't go over there looking for him."

"All right, whatever! Just--. Tell him I want to see him. Tell him that I need to see him," Rodney insisted, hope rising in his heart. "Please!"

"All right, all right!" Gene cried. "But if he says no--."

"He won't say no," Rodney assured him. "He won't say no."

But after three days had passed, Rodney was on the verge of giving up hope. He got up early and went down to the beach for a walk. He decided to give Aiden one more day; if he didn't hear from him then he'd call Gene. If Aiden didn't want him, he'd move on. Rodney walked back to the house and as he stepped onto the deck he caught the strains of piano music drifting out of the living room. He went to the French doors and saw Aiden at his piano, playing the song he'd sung at the concert. He wasn't singing, but Rodney already knew the words by heart. He walked inside and Aiden looked up.

"What do you want from me?" he asked as his hands fell from the keyboard. He rose to his feet as Rodney answered.

"I want you to stay," Rodney said. "Play some more; take a walk on the beach. Check out the house--the bathroom here is even better than the one at the penthouse! Have something to eat; watch a video. Just don't leave. Please."

Aiden sighed and shook his head. He turned as if to leave, then back around again.

"I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore."

"We can figure it out together," Rodney said, carefully moving closer. Aiden smiled suddenly, a flash of his old exuberance creeping through the otherwise somber face.

"You just want my body."

"I want your heart...and your body," Rodney said. "See? This can work! We can be completely honest with each other from here on out." Aiden averted his eyes, but a moment later he lifted his head and smiled tearfully.

"You already have my heart, Rodney," he said as Rodney swept him into his arms. Rodney held him for a long time, just listening to his heart beating against his own. Finally, he pulled away and cupped Aiden's face in his hands.

"I love you, too."

Aiden beamed as Rodney leaned in to capture his smile in a kiss.


"Not now!" Radek whined. "Things were just beginning to get interesting." He went to the phone, muttering in his native tongue. "Hello? Oh, hello, John. Could you call back later? I am in middle of--. No, Rodney cannot come to the phone right now. He's--. No, no, he's not drunk... He's fine. Very fine. He is making out with young, hot black guy... No, no! Is very special young hot black guy. Carson and I flew him in expressly for this... No, no! Not gigolo. You have no idea what those cost. Oy!"

Radek took a few steps toward the door and tried to peer into the other room. He had to pull the phone away from his ear in order to get a peek at his employer and his new lover. He heard John calling his name and reluctantly moved back to the phone.

"Is all right, John. We had better idea and sent for genuine object of desire. So brilliant, we are! Carson suggested St. Croix as a nice place to hide out. Is good for handsome young man--a little sun, a little rum...perhaps a little sex. Yes, yes! Aiden! Yes, he is here in Rodney's--. John, I have to go. I forgot Rodney's vitamins. Aiden is young and pretty, a virile boy. Rodney will kill himself. Yes, yes. Please! You have address. Meanwhile, I must go to market. Rodney will need red meat. And for Aiden, perhaps I will buy sunblock."

He stole another peek into the other room.

"I will buy big bottle. Have to leave now or I will see something Rodney will very likely kill me for. Bye."

The End

Song Lyrics

from The Pirates of Penzance (or The Slave of Duty)-- W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan

Night and Day-- Cole Porter

This is Me-- Jalabert


42 comments or leave a comment
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seikaitsukimizu From: seikaitsukimizu Date: June 16th, 2006 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow, just...wow. There are seriously no words. When Deani told me you were writing for reel_sga and it was Ford/Rodney, I knew it would be great but this...this...wonderful. Simply wonderful.

*happy sigh*
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 16th, 2006 12:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! It was truly a labor of love and a lot of fun to write.
2naonh3_cl2 From: 2naonh3_cl2 Date: June 16th, 2006 11:10 am (UTC) (Link)
for all i love aiden and for all i love rodney, i never really enjoy them together. this i loved. i loved this fic. i'm so glad that you wrote this. thank you for sharing.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 16th, 2006 12:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for taking a chance on this! I'm glad it didn't disappoint.
From: ex_kyrieane267 Date: June 16th, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't normally read Ford/Mckay, I have a difficult time seeing the spark canon-wise, but you've taken both their personalities and put them in a world that they just work in! I'm very impressed and very enthralled! This was a fantastic story!
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 17th, 2006 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
hsapiens From: hsapiens Date: June 16th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
YAY! You know how much I love this story. I'm so glad that you wrote it for a challenge; drawing new people into the the fandom of Aiden Ford can only be counted as a rip-roaring success.

I adore this story. I'll try to make my lazy butt come back here and give you real feedback that this deserves but I wanted to dash off a quick note saying I'm so happy to see people who aren't normally Ford/McKay fans discovering your writing. It deserves a much wider audience than it usually gets. *hugs*
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks sweetie!

And thank you for all your support and assistance (I must go back and add your beta credit to my post--oops) and all the lovely boys you provide to inspire me. ;)
mulder200 From: mulder200 Date: June 16th, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Once again, you amaze me with you talent and creativity. Great story.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 17th, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for your words of praise.

And thanks for using my favorite Teal'c icon again. ;)
rrrosa From: rrrosa Date: June 16th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have just slammed through this, completely enthralled, instead of doing any number of terribly responsible things. This was wonderful--it had my stomach doing those lovely little flip-flops and it had me all worried. Also, I'm sorry, but could Radek be any cuter?

Thanks for sharing.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 17th, 2006 11:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I 've lost count of the responsible things I neglected while writing this...

Thank you for your comments. I had a lot of fun writing this and totally got caught up in Radek. He's completely over the top and he was a blast to write. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.
severusslave From: severusslave Date: June 16th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
You won't believe how much I love this story! Anyway, very!

Aiden was, he was just perfect, man. He was sweet, but nastily clever and the way you described him made him alive!

Radek - oh how much do I love Radek - and you did him good in here. I was a bit sceptical with his role as butler etc in the beginning but then I loved him so! Cheeky little guy.

Dex, who got to say about two sentences here, hee, was cool! Tall guy! :D

And Rodney, god, wow! Just, wow!

I'm printing this. Yes.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 17th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much!

(Every time I see this icon I become mesmerized for about ten minutes.) :)
juri_anne From: juri_anne Date: June 16th, 2006 08:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

holy shit


I think that was the best fic I've read...ever. It was simply beautiful and fantastic and so well written! I've never been a big fan of Aiden, and definately not with Rodney, but damn this was good!

jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 17th, 2006 11:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for taking a chance on my story. Glad it delivered the goods for you.
nilla From: nilla Date: June 16th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
[fangirl]YOU ARE MADE OF AWESOME!!!![/fangirl]

Seriously! SO. MUCH. AWESOME!!! :D I usually only read Sheppard/McKay and I'm not a huge fan of WAFF and sweetness, but you totally sold me on the McKay/Ford and all around cute! Zelenka was freaking brilliant! My favorite supporting character in your story *^____^* Oh god, and when Dex called him "Radish", I about pissed myself laughing.

Aiden beamed as Rodney leaned in to capture his smile in a kiss.
I just adore this line~ *sighs happily* Thank you thank you for sharing :D
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 12:30 am (UTC) (Link)
I never go for the cute, either, but these two just always seem to come across that way. I have no idea why... But you liked it, eh? ;)

Thank you for branching out for this one!
everysecondtues From: everysecondtues Date: June 16th, 2006 10:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have so much love for this story. I'll admit that I almost didn't read it because of the pairing, but more fool I if I hadn't. Your Radek was awesome and I really enjoyed the story aspect of his friendship with Rodney. And, "Is not healthy; he eats little, sleeps less and drinks too much. He does not exercise. He does not even eat M&Ms!" Lovely story.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 12:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much! I love it when someone new discovers my work. I'm glad you enjoyed it. (And wasn't Radek a hoot?)
From: c_montgomery Date: June 17th, 2006 12:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my God. Radek made me laugh nearly every time he spoke! John, Carson, Liz, they were all awesome.

And Rodney! Well, of course, he was brilliant. I'm not familiar with my fair lady, but I loved the plot.

With Ford, I wasn't sure at first that you could put his personality into this piece, but you did, and very well, too! His kindess showed and I just loved him!
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 01:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow! That's quite the rave review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!
stungunbilly From: stungunbilly Date: June 17th, 2006 01:23 am (UTC) (Link)
This was detailed and satisfying and just.
Generally fantastic.
Thank you so much for the effort it must have taken, and for sharing this.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 01:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! It was a labor of love and I'm rather proud of the result.
scififreak From: scififreak Date: June 17th, 2006 05:31 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG, before this fic I could never ship Aiden with anyone. No Het, no Slash, nothing. I could just never see him with anyone. But this...this changed my mind. And with Rodney! I've seen the ship before, of course, but it always made me go "uh, okay." Not this. I believe in Rodney/Aiden. I love the world you created. Just fascinating. And yes, I so want to believe that most hip hop/rap artists out there today are all intellectuals on the DL. *is delusional* Thanks so much for this! *loves*
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I ship Aiden all the time. It's easy, really. ;)

And yes, I so want to believe that most hip hop/rap artists out there today are all intellectuals on the DL. *is delusional*

Yeah, me, too. ;)

Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!

That's extremely high praise and I promise to try to live up to it. :)
lucia_tanaka From: lucia_tanaka Date: June 17th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, this fic only took me two days to read. Oi, man. Epic.

So. You made me like a pairing I'd usually run away screaming from. You pulled off an awesome AU with the character pretty damn true to their canon counterparts. And your Radek rocked so hard.

Now, I'm off to read some McShep and reassure myself of my OTP.
jalabert From: jalabert Date: June 18th, 2006 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
42 comments or leave a comment
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