jalabert (jalabert) wrote,

FIC: The Demolition Man Returns

Title: The Demolition Man Returns
Author: Jalabert
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ford/Sheppard
Category: Humor
Warnings: None
Summary: Lieutenant Ford has some 'splaining to do.

When the eagerly awaited announcement of Puddle Jumper Three returning to base finally came through, John Sheppard happily abandoned the report he'd been writing and took off at a run. He reached the jumper bay just as Aiden emerged.

"Lieutenant Ford!"

"Sir," Aiden replied as John fell into stride with him.

"How was your day?" he asked smugly. He was looking forward to hearing Aiden whine about having to baby sit Rodney all day. "Back a little early, aren't you?"

"Yeah; McKay fainted so we had to cut the day short," Aiden said matter-of-factly.

"He fainted?" John replied with genuine concern. "Is he all right?"

"Yeah; it was probably just the heat and humidity. It was hot as hell out there. The doc's checking him out now."

"And he's sure that's all it is?" John persisted.

"What; you think the sight of my naked body made him faint dead away?" Aiden asked. He watched John gape like a fish for a few seconds and then continued down the hall, a tiny smile on his face. He counted three and a half "Mississippi's" before John found his voice.


Aiden was the picture of innocence when he turned around.



"Did I mention it was hot as hell out there, sir?"

Aiden gave his commanding officer an appraising look as he closed the distance between them.

"Naked, lieutenant?"

"I went for a swim," he replied with a shrug of insouciance.

"I see. So Dr. McKay was working his ass off in the heat and humidity and you were skinny dipping?"

"We set down approximately twenty miles north of the Athosian village after a complete air recon of the location. I conducted another recon to threat assess on foot. There wasn't as much as a large rodent in the area. I secured the perimeter. Then, yeah, I went skinny dipping."

"And McKay was all right with this?" John asked incredulously.

"I asked him to join me," Aiden said reasonably.

"You went skinny dipping and invited Dr. McKay to join you," John said doubtfully.

"Can't get past that, can you, sir?" Aiden muttered. "McKay refused the invitation so I stayed close to shore and kept him in my sights at all times," Aiden explained.

"He worked and you played."

"If you want to see it that way, sir," Aiden said a little defensively.

"How did McKay see it?" John asked, frowning in confusion when Aiden smiled.

"He was looking pretty hard, sir. I caught him checking me out."

"And while he was checking out your gorgeous body he just passed out," John said dubiously.

"You think I have a gorgeous body, sir?" Aiden asked. Once again, John gaped like a fish; he waited till a group of scientists was out of earshot before he managed a reply.

"I was being facetious, lieutenant."

"Oh," Aiden said with what John thought of as his you're so full of shit, sir smile. "Well, yes; I was in the water, keeping an eye on the shore... Sir, do you have any idea what a Weeki Wachee girl is?"

"I--. No!" John sputtered. "Just--."

"I was observing McKay from the water. He looked a little spooked--."

"...By the sight of your naked body..." John offered. Aiden arched an eyebrow and continued.

"So I--."

"What makes you so sure he was checking you out?"

"I know when I'm being checked out. He wouldn't be the first guy on base to do so, sir," Aiden replied.

"Oh yeah? Who else has been checking you out?"

"It would be impolitic to name names, sir," Aiden said with a pointed look at John's crotch. John squirmed slightly and Aiden, satisfied with the effect he'd elicited, moved on.

"...So I swam in to shore just as he dropped his laptop and swooned. I got to him, revived him and contacted base. Dr. B said to get some fluid into him, so I did. I took him into the water for good measure."

"So you both went skinny dipping..."

"Yeah," Aiden replied. "Well, I was going to leave his shorts on," he added hastily, "but he started bitching about not wanting to fly back to the city in wet underwear."

"You left his shorts on?" John said carefully.

"He wanted me to undress him," Aiden shrugged. "Said something about fantasizing about it; the sun had to be affecting him."


"He's never--to my knowledge, anyway--fantasized about me undressing him before. It seemed to be quite a fantasy, too, based on the way he started... never mind, sir."

"What did he start?"

"Nothing a bracing dip in a cool pond couldn't suppress, sir."

"You're pulling my leg," John decided. "What really went on out there?"

"God's honest truth! I was sitting there, bored as hell and decided to take a swim. McKay refused to join me but after a few minutes he went all wonky and passed out. I revived him, stripped him down and got him into the water for a few minutes."

"You know, I'm beginning to feel sorry I didn't join you two," John said teasingly, ignoring the summons to the command center on his com link.

"I don't think I could have taken you both on, sir," Aiden said significantly before disappearing into his room. John turned and purposely hit his head on the wall.

"Like I needed that visual right now." John shook his head and answered Liz's call, still staring at the closed door. He finally turned away, still more than a little distracted by the discussion. He knew that Aiden had to be yanking his chain. He had to be. Skinny dipping with Rodney? Not likely; it was just Aiden's way of getting back at him for being stuck babysitting all day. Yeah, that was it.

John headed back the way he'd come, moving toward the command center. As he reached the intersection of a corridor, he saw Rodney coming his way.

"Hey, McKay! I heard you had a little problem on the mainland," he said when he reached the other man.

"Problem? I didn't have any problem? What problem?" Rodney said defensively.

"I heard you passed out."

"Oh, that," Rodney said with a sigh. "It was the inevitable result of spending hours in blazing heat without adequate protection or sufficient fluids."

"So it wasn't the sight of Lieutenant Ford's naked body that made you faint?"

John saw Rodney's eyelids flutter momentarily.

"You--you know about that?"

"I know about everything, Rodney," John said with a suggestive waggle of brows. "The lieutenant and I have no secrets."

"Oh," Rodney said warily.

"I heard you got naked with him, too," John said, leaning in close and speaking sotto voce in the busy corridor. Rodney blanched and glared at him.

"It was strictly for medical purposes, I assure you," he insisted.

"Uh huh; and you're all better now?"

"Much better," Rodney replied a bit eagerly, but he sobered when John's expression turned from teasing to inquisitive. "Um, fine, yes. Now if you'll excuse me--." John watched him go and then went to Liz's office for the meeting they'd scheduled earlier. He had trouble focusing on the agenda--which had something to do with supply requisitions--and decided that Aiden was to blame for it.

When he was finally free, John concluded that it was only fair that the guilty party be made to compensate him for his suffering. After all, he'd had to endure Elizabeth's disapproving glare on two occasions. Her gasp of shock when he said "skinny dipping" instead of "shipping" was priceless and worth the penalty, but her "Really John!" after he caught himself saying it a second time... It was all Aiden's fault. John returned to his room and knocked on the door.

"Lieutenant?" he called. Hearing no response, he opened the door and walked in. "Ford?"

"In here," Aiden called from the bathroom. John turned around in time to see Aiden emerge from the bathroom carrying a towel that provided the only barrier between John and Aiden's nude body. "I was just about to grab a shower. What's up?"

I am, John thought to himself as he blatantly stared at the expanse of golden sun-kissed skin.

"Looking for tan lines?" Aiden said dryly. "You won't find any."

"I, uh... spoke to Rodney," John said. "He's okay."

"He was okay when I left him."

"He corroborated your story."

"Why wouldn't he?" Aiden asked, eyeing John warily.

"I don't know... Look, I have to know. Did you fulfill Rodney's fantasies?"

"You'll have to ask him that," Aiden said with a puckish grin. He turned to walk into the bathroom. John let his gaze take in Aiden's lean, supple body.

"Will you fulfill mine?" he asked hoarsely. Aiden stopped and turned around, a smile teasing at his lips.

"Don't I always?" he said, returning to John and invading his personal space.

"I don't recall ever fantasizing about you skinny dipping with Rodney," John said as he pulled the towel from Aiden's hand and dropped it to the floor.

"Well, if you hadn't sent me out there--."

"So this was about getting even," John surmised.

"It was about being bored and hot and--."

"And?" John said as he ran his hands up Aiden's sides before pulling his body close. He leaned in and nuzzled Aiden's throat.

"...And you know how I get when I'm bored and hot."

"You're always hot. As for bored... Are you always such a sore loser?" John murmured, his lips ghosting over Aiden's ear.

"McKay's the one who's sore," Aiden teased as he pressed his body even closer and lifted his head to improve John's access.

"I may have to kill him."

Aiden just laughed and John licked his Adam's apple before seeking out and capturing his mouth. Aiden moaned and deepened the kiss. When he finally let John breathe he laughed again.

"Are you off duty?"

"Yeah," John replied even as Aiden, who hadn't waited for an answer, peeled him out of his shirt.

"Good. Come scrub my back," he said seductively as he drew John into the bathroom. "You can tell me your fantasies while we get clean."

"Who needs fantasies when I've got you?" John replied as Aiden knelt to remove his shoes, socks and pants. He rose slowly, briefly nuzzling John's torso as he did so. John gasped and Aiden smiled as he took his hand and pulled him into the shower. For several minutes they ignored the water cascading over them while they were completely absorbed in kissing and groping one another. They finally broke apart and John began to rub his hands over Aiden's torso.

"Soap, John," Aiden said lazily. John reached over and pumped a little soap out of the dispenser, rubbing his hands to create a lather while he studied him. Aiden was leaning against the wall, his head back, eyes closed, looking debauched and gorgeous and... John abruptly forgot about conjuring up flattering words for his long-time lover. He needed to touch. Aiden had once chastised him for staring, telling John that sex was meant to be more than a mental exercise. It was something to be experienced. John reached out and smoothed his hands over Aiden's chest, relishing the feel of sculpted muscle under his hands as he slowly worked his way down to lather Aiden's groin. Yes, experience was definitely the way to go.

Aiden sighed and smiled as John leaned in to kiss him. He pulled John closer and wrapped himself around him, his soap-slicked skin gliding over John's hirsute torso. John worked the soap around to Aiden's back while his tongue did wicked things inside his mouth. Gasping for air, he reluctantly pulled away. Aiden took the opportunity to reverse their positions, grabbing more soap from the dispenser and slicking it over his own ass, where John took up the task of preparing him.

"So what's your favorite fantasy, John?" Aiden gasped in John's ear as he thrust against him in time with the movements of John's hand. "Tell me."

"I've got it right here," he replied huskily, pausing to grab a bit more of the Ancients' soap/lotion that had become popular among a certain segment of the Atlantis expeditionary force as lube. He switched their positions again, turning Aiden to the wall. Aiden braced himself while John used a bit of the lather to soap himself up. He pressed into his lover, relishing the sound of Aiden's satisfied groan as much as the moist velvety heat that engulfed him as the two bodies merged.

John rested his head on Aiden's shoulder and moved as slowly as he dared, trying to prolong the experience. But Aiden, as always, wore down his resolve, becoming the aggressor and thrusting backward, bringing John to the edge of insanity.

"Damn you," he ground through his teeth before he came. The sound of Aiden's laughter rang in his ears before he, too, succumbed and went over the edge. He crumbled to his knees and John followed, clinging to his waist. They scrambled clumsily till they were comfortably sprawled on the floor of the shower, allowing the warm water to cool them off. "I'm turning into a prune," John said after a few minutes. "Let's get out of here."

Aiden rose gracefully and extended his hand. He pulled John to his feet and kissed him before leading him out of the commodious stall. On their way to the bed, Aiden picked up the towel they'd discarded earlier and quickly dried John and himself before collapsing onto the bed. John yawned and snuggled into Aiden's arms. He was nearly asleep before a thought occurred to him and he lifted his head.

"So did you--? Please--. You didn't..."

Aiden merely smiled back at him.



"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You know damned well what I want."

"I thought I just gave you what you wanted," Aiden said easily.

"Did you and Rodney--. Out there... Did you?"

"You can't even make yourself say it, can you?"

"It's too horrible to contemplate," John said, squinting. "Him all over you..."

"Maybe I was all over him," Aiden said, waggling his eyebrows. John got to his knees and began to examine his lover's skin closely. "He's not a biter," Aiden chuckled as John's wandering fingers tickled his skin. "All right, no. I didn't do Rodney, okay?"

"Did he do you?" John asked sheepishly.

"Jealous much?"

"Humor me."

"No; is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes," John said possessively. "You belong to me."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you sent me out there in the heat with him."

"I'll never send you out alone with anyone ever again."

"Except you."

"Except me," John agreed. He resettled in Aiden's arms and kissed him several times, muttering "mine" between each one. Aiden began to giggle, but he endured the assault. He still didn't have anything to shoot at or blow up, but at least he was no longer bored.

The End
Tags: aiden ford, ford/sheppard

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