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FIC: Recollection - Hotitudinosity
fiction by jalabert
jalabert
jalabert
FIC: Recollection
Title: Recollection
Author: Jalabert
Rating: R
Pairings: Ford/Other
Category: First time, Dark
Spoilers: None, pre-dates Atlantis
Warnings: Non-consensual sex implied
Summary: A young marine's first trip through the gate teaches him things about himself he'd rather not have known.


"Now what have we here?" Ba'al said as he approached the young marine who was being held up by two guards. He extended a graceful hand and lifted the face of the man his first prime had presented for his inspection. The prisoner was unconscious, but Ba'al was still intrigued by his beauty. "Take him to my chamber and revive him," he commanded. As the guards dragged the young man out of the room, Ba'al's first prime came forward.

"Allow me to break this one for you, my lord. He's a small one," the man said obsequiously, "and a mere underling, I'm sure. "

"That shall not be necessary," Ba'al replied. "I shall take great pleasure in interrogating him myself."

"Shall I prepare your --."

Ba'al silenced him with a hand.

"I require nothing but privacy."

"Very good, my lord." The disappointed minion stepped back and bowed his head as the system lord swept from the room. When he was alone again, the first prime frowned in anger. He had meant to claim this prize for himself. But perhaps when Ba'al was done with him there would be an opportunity...if there was anything of him left.

**

"Lieutenant Ford."

Aiden looked up groggily at the sound of his name. He opened his eyes, only to have a light shined into them. He flinched and tried to turn away, but his chin was held in a vise-like grip and he unwillingly submitted to the examination.

"What can you tell me about what you saw on--what was it--PX9-3378?"

"What?"

"What can you tell me about the planet?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Aiden groaned as he twisted away. The grip on his chin relaxed and he averted his eyes. His head was throbbing and he had no idea how long he'd been held in the small, stuffy room. His inquisitor was interested in receiving answers, not giving them.

"Come, come, lieutenant. You can do better than that. Tell me what I want to know and you can rest."

"I don't know anything about PX9-3378! I can't remember!" he sobbed. He shut his eyes tightly and heard the sound of footsteps receding. After a minute, he opened his eyes and sighed heavily. "How much longer are you going to keep me here?" he asked. The man at the door turned back.

"I'm afraid that's completely up to you, lieutenant."

"But I've already told you all I know!"

**

Sometime later--hours, days (Aiden wouldn't have been able to say which)--he was finally released and returned to the SGC. After a thorough physical examination he was assigned to quarters on base and escorted to the room. Aiden took some of the pain meds the doctor had given him and laid down. His head throbbed, both from the stress of his ordeal as well as the frustration of not being able to recall what had happened. He was told that he'd been taken prisoner by Ba'al's forces on PX9-3378 and found a short distance from the gate approximately twelve hours later. He was unconscious and apparently uninjured, but past history with Ba'al and other system lords suggested that the lieutenant had probably been repeatedly tortured and revived in a sarcophagus. Aiden had no memory of torture or of being placed in a sarcophagus. As he lay on his bed, however, other memories began to come to him.

The fantastic array of colors in the stained glass dome above Ba'al's bed that Aiden struggled to focus on as his body was violated for the first time. The surprisingly sweet taste of Ba'al's mouth; the acrid taste and smell of his own semen when Ba'al forced it down his throat. The sound of his own cries of pain intermingled with those of the system lord's ecstasy; the fear of being invaded by the Goa'uld that he bore inside his body. Sensations--too many to count, too many to savor. Aiden recalled his own arousal, overcoming his initial disgust and fear and leading to his eventual and inevitable surrender to lust. Images of his own desire, flung back at him a thousand ways from the mirrored walls of Ba'al's inner sanctum. Worst of all was overwhelming need--palpable, insatiable and indiscriminate; Aiden had sought release in the arms of a man who would, given the chance, conquer Earth and enslave all humanity.

He suddenly felt sick. Aiden lurched from his bed and staggered into the bathroom, where he threw up till there was nothing left in his stomach. He sat on the cold tile floor for twenty minutes before climbing to his feet to splash cold water on his face. When Aiden looked into the mirror above the sink he saw a man he didn't recognize. A man he did not want to be. He went back to his bed and picked up the bottle of painkillers on the nightstand. He stared at it for several minutes before coming to a decision.

**

"Can you tell me why you're here, Lieutenant Ford?"

"Yes, ma'am," Aiden said softly. "I--." He paused to lick his lips.

"Take your time," Janet Fraiser said. Aiden nodded; she poured out a cup of water and handed it to him. Aiden took a sip and handed it back to her. She waited patiently till he was ready to speak again.

"Fourteen days ago, I was taken prisoner on PX9-3378. I was held captive by--."

"Go on," Janet prompted when it appeared that Aiden wouldn't continue.

"I was held prisoner by a system lord by the name of Ba'al. He--. I was sexually assaulted," Aiden said in a voice barely above a whisper. "He--."

"You didn't mention anything about this in the debriefing," Janet said gently. Aiden shook his head.

"No, ma'am. I didn't remember it till afterward," he said, recalling how he'd spent three days being interrogated by first the SGC, then Home World Security and the NID. "They kept asking me what had happened on the planet, over and over again. I had no memory of anything after I stepped through the gate. But tonight it came back. I began to remember..."

"...And that's when you called me," Janet said, nodding

After giving him medical clearance to leave the infirmary she'd told Aiden to call her if he encountered any problems. He was suffering from post traumatic distress, but Janet was certain that there was more to it than just being caught in an ambush and taken prisoner. When Aiden called her just before midnight she was more than a little surprised. She listened to him cry and ramble on for ten minutes about something too awful to speak about before convincing him to return to the infirmary to await her arrival.

She was relieved to find him calmly sitting in her office a half hour later. Janet had practically raced to the base, afraid Aiden would do himself a harm. She recalled the nightmares Jack O'Neill had experienced after being tortured by Ba'al. She suspected that Aiden Ford would face a similar ordeal. But he'd taken the first step toward recovery. He'd reached out to her for help and she made a solemn vow to be there for him.

Janet and Aiden talked for a while before Janet gave him something to help him sleep. She was still reeling from his startling confession when she left him on a bed in a quiet corner of the infirmary. She 'd fully expected to hear that he'd been raped. Aiden Ford would not be the first member of the SGC to suffer that fate at the hands of a Goa'uld. But Janet was frankly stunned by his confession that he'd become a willing accomplice in his own assault, vehemently refusing to accept any suggestion that Ba'al had somehow artificially induced his cooperation. Janet was certain that this was not a case of Stockholm Syndrome; the young lieutenant's imprisonment had been far too short. As disturbing as his confession had been, she had no choice but to accept it at face value. Aiden Ford had been seduced by a system lord.

Horrified by the revelation, he'd begun to question his sexuality as well as his fitness to continue in the Stargate program. He'd asked dozens of questions Janet couldn't answer. Aiden needed more help than she was qualified to give. Janet returned to her office as an idea formed in her head. She checked her watch and picked up the phone; he'd still be up, even at that hour. Janet hit the number on speed dial and sat back.

"Hello?"

"Hi," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry to call at such a late hour, but I heard a rumor that you believe that sleep is only for the dead."

"It's just a rumor," Daniel Jackson replied. "I wish I was asleep. I've got a translation from PX3-462 to finish before that can happen, though."

"Do you think you could spare a moment for something else?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Well, it's about a patient of mine, the one who was taken prisoner by Ba'al," Janet said. "I would have asked Jack to speak with him, but I think you might be better able to relate to his situation..."


The End

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